Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

-- Victor Borge

I learned why they're called wonder drugs--
you wonder what they'll do to you.

-- Harlan Miller

The food here is so tasteless you could eat a meal of it and belch
and it wouldn't remind you of anything.

-- Redd Foxx

One out of four people in this country is mentally imbalanced.
Think of your three closest friends. If they seem okay,
then you're the one.

-- Ann Landers

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs--
jolted by every pebble in the road.

-- Henry Ward Beecher

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it
ceases to be serious when people laugh.

-- George Bernard Shaw

The ship of state is the only known vessel that leaks from the top.

-- James Reston

To err is human, but it feels divine.

-- Mae West

I used to be snow white - but I drifted.

-- Mae West

God must have loved the common man, he made so many of them.

-- Abraham Lincoln